My City Woman's blog on our society’s fixation with marriage

What’s with marriage? – Our society’s fixation with marriage

Marriage is by far the most overrated institution in our country – India. The  values given to the girl child, right from birth transcends every cast , creed or even economic barrier –  “You have to get married one day!” Really??? and why is that?

I wish we as adults realize that growing up is not about finding the right match and settling down. And no- we are not “made for someone else” and “sent to earth for him”. These are cliché’ at best which are sold to people through media, movies, newspapers, books. Even children’s story books have the common theme –  “Then came along the handsome prince and they lived ever after!”

Unknowingly we inculcate into the child’s mind a world where he or she, gets married and stays blessed for the rest of her life. People who have experienced this world even a little, would know how idiotic that sounds.

I am troubled by the news of a young TV actress Pratyusha Banerjee committing suicide. She was just 24 years old, unmarried girl. Apparently, she was having “relationship issues” with her boyfriend. Media reports suggest that she had ordered her bridal wear with a well known designer already. She had sindoor in the parting of her hair (symbolic of married women in India) when she was found hanging from the ceiling of her room.

Its evident that she was eagerly  looking forward to getting married. There is a little romance set in the minds of Indian girls about sindoor, bridal lehenga, the chooda and so many other things symbolic of being married. There is a time when some girls want to get married in the world is for sindoor and chooda! C’mon, since when was this supposed to happen?

We grow up and yes do get married eventually if we find that right somebody. Yes, when the time is right and we are mature enough to handle the pressure marriage brings with it. It’s a commitment that demands time, loyalty and togetherness. There is nothing in existence called “lived happily ever after”. Spring doesn’t last forever; every relationship goes though its own share of ups and downs.

This suicide is telling us it’s time we stop fooling ourselves and tell our children in waiting that marriage is not the ultimate goal of life. As individuals they are free to make their own choices and live life of their liking. Its time we stop raising eyebrows when a girl says she doesn’t want to get married. It’s time to stop telling your daughter “One day you will leave us and go to your own home, the one after marriage” It’s a wake up alarm – time to stop pretending and growing up for good.

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