My City Woman's blog on how to raise independent kids

Raising Independent Kids

As parents we all want to raise our kids well. We take care not to let them bother with “small” meticulous details of life. We want to go out there and make life easy and comfortable for them. In the long run though, we realise the result is not what we had set ourselves for.  They are fussy eaters, need you to lay out their school uniform, drop their clothes to the washer, pick up the toys after them , basically turn into their slaves!

Here is the guide to raising kids so they do their share of work and develop into independent beings.

Before we set out, the benefits it would accrue to your children are:

  • Increased self confidence and self esteem
  • Inculcates a sense of responsibility in kids
  • Improved bonding between you and your kids

Let’s explore on how to raise independent kids:

Well, there are no instant results. Neither are there any short cuts. It is a process and needs time before you would see any valid change in your kids.

1. Learn to trust your kids

This may be hard at first, but learn to give your kids an opportunity to prove themselves. Let them struggle and attempt the task at hand. For instance, you see your child trying to wear his shoes. You immediate run to tie the laces for him. Instead, let them attempt to do it. Ask them if they need help.  While helping them, teach them how it is done. Eventually the child would pick up on their own. Yes they will. We all did.

Another example, you are fed up of feeding the child with your own hands. You want him to start on his own. Very well. lay out the plate with a small portion and give it to them. Stop staring at them while they are at it. Leave your child after extracting the promise that you would be back in a minute and he should start. Initially that may not happen. Eventually it would. It would take that faith in your child to entrust him with the responsibility. Try with his favourite dish for a start. may work faster!

2. Accept their way of doing things

They may not do it the way you do. They may not even do it perfectly. Be prepared to take it in your stride, appreciate that they attempted to do the task and they have done well. This would encourage them to do even better the next time around.

3. Expect delays in getting things done

If the child does not do it the very same moment, learn to wait. On an impulse, just do not go ahead and finish the task on your child’s behalf. Else, the kids would take the cue and not do whatever they are asked to.

Raising self sufficient kids is a critical parenting skill. Its more about us learning and controlling the situation than anything else.


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