My City Woman's blog on how to make kids listen to you

5 Ways to Get Your Kids Listen To You!

As parents, we all want to raise well-disciplined kids. Only if it were as easy! We all reach a point when bribes, threats or anger does not seem to work. What next?

Here is your guide to creating  an environment where kids not only listen to you, they turn accountable, responsible and easier to manage. Sounds unreal? Well, read on….

1. Routine

If this one can work well with adults, it can surly work with kids. If you create a routine around regular activities, it would get absorbed into them that the activity always is done this way and they would not resist it. For instance, “Once we come back from school, we always remove our shoes and put them in the shoe rack and then wash our hands.” This kind of routine may require discipline but its worth every minute of our time invest.

2. Use positive wordsGet your kids to put the toys away

Instead of beginning your sentences with “Don’t”, start with a positive word like “Do”. Using positive words is more likely to get kids to listen to what is being said and get us the desired result. To give an example, instead of saying” Don’t leave the lego on the floor” , rephrase it as “Let’s put the Lego in the basket”

3. Appreciate

We feel happy when our bosses appreciate our efforts at work. Kids are no different. Every effort made by then, no matter how small, needs to be appreciated. Say things like” I like it when you manage to keep your room tidy. I can see you have put all the toys in their place.”

In the book “How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk” by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish, they urge parents to also describe meticulously their efforts instead of doing just lip service. For instance,instead of “you look pretty” you could say “I see that you have done your hair neatly and work the matching shoes well. It’s looking pretty.” This gets us the kids attention and makes them our ally.

4. Give them a choice

No one likes to be coerced into doing things. Ditto for our kids. Forcing them to do what you want will never work. Instead give them a choice. “Let’s see you have two choices, either you stay at home or if you want to come with us to the party, change your T-shirt.”; “Would you prefer this skirt or do you want to wear this frock?”

5. Trust them

Many a times, we do not realise that we push out children to do things fast. We expect them to do things correctly the first time. Don’t agree? Have you heard yourself say ” Give, let me tie the shoe laces for you. ” Or “Let me put this belt on for you.” This reduces their self esteem and independence. Instead, learn to trust your kids. Let them try on their own. Appreciate their struggle. Ask the child if he needs help.. ,In the book ” How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk”, the authors’  urge parents to acknowledge their struggle. “I know tying shoe laces can be tricky. Would you like to show me the easier way?” This always keeps the kids our ally and makes them try harder, but in a positive way.

Our kids need that trust, appreciation and support from us. We as parents CAN live up their expectations too! Its all about perspective and respecting each others’ space.

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